It is that time of year. I am just about to check out of the office for the festive season. Before I do so though…. Yes, you guessed it…. More party selfies…. And a quirky video clip to share with you all….. Wednesday night was the hypnosis gang Christmas party here in Bournemouth. Every year […]
The post Sing With Me: “Christmas Time…. Hypno Gang and Wine….” Plus Our Mannequin Challenge Video! appeared first on Adam Eason.
“I try to live in a little bit of my own joy and not let people steal it or take it.” – Hoda Kotb
The holidays are supposed to be about peace and love. Then why does it create so much pain, suffering and disappointment?
No one can live up to the fantasy of what the holidays are supposed to be. Instead most of us are trying our best to cope with the narcissistic, manipulative and insensitive family we have.
The only way we can enjoy the holidays is to let go of expectations. While grief accompanies acceptance, so does freedom. Not basing your joy on anyone else is truly the best gift you can get.
If you’re struggling with letting go of old habits, grudges and intense emotions, read our top posts to end 2016. It will help you start the new year off right.
VALIDATION: The Relational Skill that Softens Defenses
(Mindful Mastery) – The more you try to help a loved one, the more defensive he or she gets. Here’s why what you say could be exacerbating their painful feelings, not diminishing it.
The Hell of Perpetual Happiness
(Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – When is happiness a bad thing? When you live with or around people who require it at all times.
5 Things You Need To Stop Doing–Starting Now–to Move On
(Knotted) – Want happiness and healing in 2017? They key is knowing how to move forward. If you’re stuck, this will help you let go of unhealthy behavior so you can move toward a healthier, happier life.
Advice for Coping with Guilt Trips
(The Recovery Expert) – Do you feel selfish, uncaring and thoughtless? A master manipulator may be the cause.
New Year Exercises: Five Quick Tips and Activities to Help Your Clients Start the Year off Right!
(Psychoeducation in Psychotherapy) – Looking for fresh and creative ways to motivate your clients toward positive change? Read this list.
The idea that thinking is done only in the head is a convenient illusion that doesn’t reflect how problems are solved in reality, according to two cognitive psychology experts from Kingston University London. In a new study, the researchers demonstrate how our decision making is heavily influenced by our environment — and that using tools or objects when problem solving can spark new ways of finding solutions and increase productivity.
“When you write or draw, the action itself makes you think differently,”said Professor Gaëlle Vallée-Tourangeau, a professor of organizational behavior. “In cognitive psychology you are trained to see the mind as a computer, but we’ve found that people don’t think that way in the real world. If you give them something to interact with they think in a different way.”
For the study, the researchers invited 50 participants to attempt to solve the following problem: Put 17 animals in four pens in such a way that there are an odd number of animals in each one.
The participants were split into two groups — the first group was able to build physical models with their hands, while the second group was given an electronic tablet and stylus to sketch out an answer. The researchers found that the model-building participants were much more likely to find the solution — which required designing an overlapping pen configuration — than those with the tablet.
“We showed with this study that for some types of problem — regardless of an individual’s cognitive ability — being able to physical[ly] interact with tools gave people a fighting chance of solving it,” said Professor Frédéric Vallée-Tourangeau, a professor of psychology.
“By contrast, a pen and paper-type method almost guaranteed they wouldn’t be able to. It demonstrates how interacting with the world can really benefit people’s performance.”
The research team has also been working on a new study exploring how math anxiety — a debilitating emotional reaction to mental arithmetic that can cause people to avoid even simple tasks like splitting a restaurant bill — could potentially be managed through interactivity.
The study, which was published in the journal Cognitive Research: Principles and Implications, involved asking people to speak a word repeatedly while doing long sums at the same time. It found that the mathematical ability of those asked to do the sums in their heads was more affected than those given number tokens that they could move with their hands.
However, the really interesting finding was how a person’s math anxiety affected the results.
“We found that for those adding the sums in their head, their maths anxiety score predicted the magnitude of errors made while speaking a word repeatedly,” said Frédéric Vallée-Tourangeau. “If they’re really maths anxious, the impact will be huge. But in a high interactivity context — when they were moving number tokens — they behaved as if they were not anxious about numbers.”
He went on to explain that some people with math anxiety cope by completely avoiding math altogether, which only worsens the problem. “That’s what makes these findings really interesting,” he said. “Trying to understand why the fear factor is eliminated or controlled to a manageable level when using your hands rather than just your head is the question we’re trying to get to the bottom of now.”
As well as potentially being of benefit when it comes to teaching, re-examining old ideas of how we think could have numerous practical applications.
“If you look at recruitment, for example, a lot of assessment centres use classical intelligence tests when interviewing candidates,” added Gaëlle Vallée-Tourangeau. “But depending on the type of work they are recruiting for, they may be missing out on the best people for the job.”
“In business and management, all the models are using the old metaphor of decision making as information processing, which is something I think we need to overcome. We need to redefine how thinking occurs.”
The study is published in the journal Acta Psychologica.
Source: Kingston University London
During the Christmas period, we tend to try and forget about our worries and what we’d like to change about ourselves, but then the new year turns up – a bit like a cold slap in the face.
For many, January 1st signals time for some critical self-reflection and the obligatory resolution making. Most of us will go through the age-old routine: make a resolution, keep to it for a while, only to fall out of the habit and then pretend that you never made the resolution in the first place. But, let’s try doing it differently – this year, don’t set a resolution.
Really, ask yourself, what’s the point of setting a resolution that you haven’t managed to achieve thus far? You’ll only disappoint yourself – and may end up even further from your target. So, rather than falling victim of the familiar ‘giving something up’ or ‘trying something new’, try to focus your attention on goal-setting and making real achievements.
We’ve come up with a few ideas to help you set some goals for the New Year:
Be realistic
It’s not easy to make changes to your life, no matter how big or small the change. We can get comfortable in our own routines, and this is where it becomes difficult to sustain a change that we’re not really motivated for or believe that we can achieve.
Be honest with yourself and realistic about what you want, and when you want it. But don’t underestimate your abilities either – you may surprise yourself with how strong you are.
Manageable and achievable targets
Resolutions can be vague. Not being specific enough, or setting a blasé target is not enough motivation for a lot of people. Try setting yourself monthly or weekly goals of measurable outcomes instead – that way you can track your progress, and check to see if you are regularly on-target.
If you want to lose two stone this year, try losing a pound every couple of weeks. If you want to give up smoking, try cutting down by one cigarette a day, every week.
Make a public commitment
Consider for a moment why you haven’t stuck to those past resolutions; why you haven’t shifted the weight, or given up smoking. Make a promise to yourself to make a commitment to your goals, and accept help to achieve them.
It can be too easy to give up when you lose motivation. But, if someone else knows your goals, or is relying on a promise you’ve made, that can be a form of motivation in itself. Ask your friends and family to help you, or even consider taking up professional help to assist you in achieving your goal this year.
Let us know what goals you’re setting yourself this year in the comments below!
New Year’s resolutions are a thing of the past.When I was growing up, and even into adulthood, people would always be asking each other “what is your new year’s resolution” right before the new year was about to hit. And, me not knowing any differently, would always try to come up with something to change for the new year. This would go on for several days, and often the weeks before the new year. When I was in school one of my new year resolutions would be “next year I don’t want to procrastinate so much.” That generally lasted a couple of months, if I was lucky, and then it went by the wayside. According to StatisticBrain.com some of the top resolutions include stop smoking, lose weight, stay fit and healthy, and save more and spend less. Their statistics also show that only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolutions.
This brings me to my next thought of changing the way we enter the new year. In the last couple of years, I have become more aware of social media and people around me talking about “setting an intention”. By setting an intention I am referring to thinking about how you want to live, engage in the world, and get the most out of your life while looking towards the future. When you lack intention, that’s when you may stray from your path, or feel like you’re lacking focus in your life.
The great thing about setting an intention is that you can make this a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly process. You also might have different intentions for different time periods. For example, one of my daily intentions is to be mindful of how I interact with those around me, my thoughts, actions, and my speech.
An example of a yearly intention is paying more attention to my health, and think about how I am caring for myself. This is different than saying “for my new year’s resolution I want to lose 20 pounds and am going to stay away from junk food. According to mindfulminutes.com, setting an intention should not be confused with a goal. They refer to an intention as “… an aim, a purpose, or attitude you’d be proud to commit to.” It’s like the old Buddhist saying “what you think what you become.”
Here are some ways to set positive intentions in your life, whether that be for new year’s, or every day of the week.
First and foremost, make your intention positive. The more you are positive in your life, the more you will attract positive things. That may be something related to your personal life, work life, or spiritual life. Whatever it is for you, the importance of positivity is key in setting a successful intention.
Secondly, set realistic intentions, with realistic time frames. You know how some people say “the bigger, the better.” Well, when setting an intention, it’s probably the opposite. You want to set yourself up for success, which might mean smaller, more frequent intention setting. Just like in the example I gave earlier, waking up an setting an intention for the day gets you started on the right foot.
Next, write your intentions down. Get a separate journal or notebook, and keep track of your intentions. You can add to that in any way you like, or just have it as a list for your reference. Similar to when you write down what you’re grateful for, this creates a larger chance of your gaining something from the process of setting your intentions.
Some people find that sharing their intention with a friend, co-worker, or loved one, they are not only held more accountable, but are able to receive support from those people in helping you stayed focused on your intention.
Lastly, if you are setting a daily intention, try to spend some time meditating. This helps clear your mind and really focus on what your intention is for that day. If you are saying “I don’t have time to meditate”, all it takes is 5 minutes. That’s part of setting the intention as well.
If you are interested in learning more about setting intentions and how they can be helpful in your daily life, please feel free to contact me.
